Table of Contents


24 May 2006
Nick asks many inane questions and Joel relates the story of the Three Little Pigs with Mustaches and the Wolf with a Soul Patch.


08 June 2018
Daniel visits John's house for the first time with Julius in tow.


14 February 2019
VALENTINE'S DAY. Julius and John get cookies at the hospital cafeteria. Thanasi and Middler go out on a date.
15 February 2019
John gets to hold Adam while Jessica makes uncharitable remarks about her friends.
20 February 2019
Julius cleans all the things. Middler is treated like a social pariah in Elf Haven. Jessica is depressed.
02 March 2019
John and Julius have a conversation!!! (About nothing.)
09 March 2019
Julius goes Gabriel after Ernest insinuates that he's gay and has many misadventures.
20 March 2019
John feeds Elijah a load of bull… *ahem* And Julius acts pissy.
21 March 2019
Julius gets angry at John about absolutely nothing. John is comforting to Elijah. Book-ended by Dan dreams.
26 March 2019
John and Jessica flirt have a conversation about love. Elijah and Jessica alienate Ernest.
28 March 2019
Julius apologizes to John for being an ass. Middler and Thana ponder on how to get Natey back from Ivy.
02 April 2019
John and Elijah have a conversation!!! (About nothing.)
04 April 2019
Middler returns from his trip to Elf Haven to the delight of Julius and Jessica and ire of Gwen.
07 April 2019
Middler retrieves Natey, then he and Julius visit J.N. at a bar where Julius apologizes to him for being an ass a second time.
08 April 2019
Elijah completes his Demon Survival Guide by neglecting his school work.
09 April 2019
Jessica goes off on Elijah, for neglecting his school work, and John, for lying to him about being a secret agent and refused to leave until John fesses.
16 April 2019
Elijah, John, and Jessica are all awkward with each other in the aftermath of John's confession. Feemy has a trying school day under Katen's tutelage.
19 April 2019
John shows Elijah his pen gun and then they have a conversation!!! (About nothing.)
21 April 2019
Jessica gives up Adam and Elijah to Eric and Bridget, then has a picnic with Middler, Feemy, and Celena.
25 April 2019
Feemy and Renasi play in the rain.
29 April 2019
Elijah learns how to be popular in the 9th grade.
02 May 2019
John is invited over to Eric and Bridget's house for dinner. Elijah gets a haircut.
08 May 2019
John offers Elijah his VHS tapes. Middler and Jessica try to cheer up a depressed Julius.


12 May 2023
Elijah, John, and Adam visit the park where Elijah dumps all his problems on John. Middler shows Nathaniel a magic trick with Natey.
15 May 2023
John tells Jessica about Elijah's problems, then rescues him from a party.
17 May 2023
Everyone's just really unpleasant to each other.
19 May 2023
John takes Elijah and Adam to Atlantis where they have a tearful reunion with family.
20 May 2023
Julius goes Gabriel permanently. John rescues Elijah from Isaac's apartment.
21 May 2023
John visits Elijah and tells him his backstory. Middler gives Gabriel a tour of the castle. Celena and Feemy have a heart-to-heart talk.
23 May 2023
Elijah graduates from high school. John and Ernest attend his graduation party.
27 May 2023
Jessica flirts shamelessly with John.
29 May 2023
John, Elijah, and Adam visit Peter and Rosemary. John confesses to Elijah that he has feelings for Jessica.
30 May 2023
Feemy and Renasi go swimming. John and Ernest visit Elijah, who's in the hospital.
04 June 2023
John confesses his feelings to Jessica. Celena confesses her feelings to Middler. Gwen is discovered missing and Demi takes guardianship over Nathaniel.
05 June 2023
Elijah decides to return to Atlantis.
07 June 2023
John and Jessica help Elijah and Adam unpack their things.
10 June 2023
Jessica tells Feemy and Celena she's in a relationship with John to poor results. Feemy and Adam try to play with each other to similar results.
11 June 2023
John is excellent with children. Jessica and John have their first kiss and visit his parents.
12 June 2023
John tells Adam the story of Ugly the cat.
13 June 2023
The McMurrans and John have a beach day.
15 June 2023
Father's Day. Adam gives John a pocket watch. John visits his father. Feemy hits Middler.
16 June 2023
Adam has an iron deficiency.
18 June 2023
Ernest and John get in a fight. Feemy arrives in Elf Haven.
19 June 2023
Ernest visits Atlantis for the first time.
21 June 2023
John and Middler play poker.
28 June 2023
Elijah suffers from insomnia.
01 July 2023
John and Celena have a heart-to-heart talk.
04 July 2023
Elijah, Adam, Jessica, and Ernest visit John for the 4th of July.
08 July 2023
The McMurrans, John, and Middler visit Daniel's grave. Adam has the stomach flu and John and Jessica get hot and heavy.
12 July 2023
Demi and Elijah spar.
13 July 2023
John asks Katen and Gabriel to train him in martial arts and magic.
18 July 2023
John considers adopting Adam.
19 July 2023
John and Jessica go out on a date. Celena tries to foist Natey on Feemy. Elijah is mean to Adam and John.
20 July 2023
Elijah apologizes to John. Feemy foists Natey back onto Celena. John tells Adam he can't adopt him at the moment. Jessica cries over having to move Daniel's things from her room.
21 July 2023
Feemy tries to get to know Adam. Jessica tells John she's pregnant, much to his dismay.
22 July 2023
John tells his parents that Jessica's pregnant, then proposes to her.
23 July 2023
Ernest gets accused of being a pervert by Celena. Elijah attempts suicide.
24 July 2023
John and Jessica begin planning their wedding. Celena is mean to Feemy. Adam tells John about his Riser problems.
25 July 2023
Daniel and John get Elijah thrown in the dungeon. Katen gets him out.
26 July 2023
John, Jessica, Feemy, and Adam have a nice picnic at the lake.


27 July 2032
Celena and Middler announce their engagement to Feemy and Renasi. Jessica returns home from a long business trip.
28 July 2032
Celena and Middler announce their engagement to the rest of the family. Jessica and Anastasia convince Demi to postpone finding Elijah another day. Feemy and Renasi are the least exciting young men ever.
29 July 2032
The Crowley family visits John's parents.
03 August 2032
John retrieves Elijah and his daughter from their cabin in the woods and returns with them to the castle.
04 August 2032
Jessica gives Dani and Rose french braids. Renasi badmouths Elijah to Feemy.
05 August 2032
Elijah meets Dani and Rose, who later get sick.
06 August 2032
John and Jessica tell Dani and Rose their family history. Feemy and Renasi begin a romantic relationship. Adam dies and returns to life. Daniel is definitely not falling in love with John.
07 August 2032
Celena and Middler crash Feemy and Renasi's first date. Feemy and Renasi crash John and Jessica flirting.
08 August 2032
Middler asks Gabriel to be his best man. John visits his children.


03 September 2037
Adam's in a coma. Price begins a direct assault on the castle with Katen as the first casualty.
04 September 2037
The battle at the castle is won, though John is left wounded. Adam dies and returns to life for the second time.
05 September 2037
The infirmary rejoices as Adam is temporarily relieved of his bug problem. John and Daniel have a long talk about their feelings. Jessica returns from Katen's funeral and berates John cruelly.
10 September 2037
Trajedie's first evening at the infirmary, after which she and Adam attend a ball.
19 September 2037
Adam tells Trajedie about his Riser Problems. Nick and Joel are creepers. Feemy sends letters to his family and invites them to his concert. Adam and Trajedie have a HOT STEAMY MAKE OUT SESSION.
23 September 2037
John cuts his hand while sparring with Elijah, after which Elijah falls to pieces. INFIRMARY TIME. Nick tells Joel he has a brain tumor, after which they spend the rest of the night ROFLMAOing.
26 September 2037
Jessica and John look through Rosemary's photo albums. Nick gets sent to Paldicia and thus Trajedie officially becomes Joel's apprentice.
08 October 2037
Jill scores a job at the infirmary, despite antagonizing her interviewer. Peter and Elijah have a touching conversation.
03 November 2037
Daniel and John have a long conversation about language, the Art of War, and why John should or should not be a general.
04 November 2037
Joel and Nick reminiscence about the past. Daniel continues trying to convince John that he'd make a good general and then tries to flirt with him. He fails on both accounts.


13 May 2088
Adam gets a massage from Trajedie after fighting with Dana. Teddy fills in for Jo, who is playing hooky, and converses with Joel.


18 May 2121
Elena cooks Joey a delicious meal. Nick gets a caramel.
20 May 2121
Elena and Joey come to Atlantis for the coronation.
21 May 2121
Traj jumps out a window : <
22 May 2121
Traj doesn't die. Adam visits Nick and gets a caramel.
23 May 2121
Varian makes a friend and gets sung Greensleeves by his dad.
24 May 2121
Varian gets lost on the way to the bathroom. Nick gets drunk and acts unusually. Dana meets Jack.